Cutting edge technology!

Now keep in mind that the last movie camera I owned was ancient, only in the fact that the battery was about the size of the batteries on a cordless drill. I consider myself pretty hip on topics of digital cameras, but movie camera knowledge is lacking. So I found out. My step son and daughter in law got us a new little JVC mini camera for Christmas. It is a very compact little camera that will be perfect to make movies of the grandkids, the dogs, etc. Not needing any instruction on the simple workings of a little movie camera, I dove in with both feet. I noticed that there was a place to insert a little skandisk memory card, so I delegated my wife to go out and buy a lot of memory, lest we get caught at a crucial moment with no memory left. Our grandson Connor, scoring a touchdown, or Cassie, as she rolls around in yet another pile of cat poop! While she was gone, I realized by visual inspection only, that there was an antiquated little compartment in the bottom for the old-fashioned reel tapes. Ha! I felt sympathy for the poor sots that still had to use outdated, behind the times "tapes". I was a baby boomer! I was of the computer age! I would use nothing less than a 2GB memory disk in MY camera! I wasn't going to take a chance on being labeled, "technologically illiterate"! No, not me! While my wife, Mille, was out shopping, I acquainted myself with the various buttons, settings, and gadgetry that I so coveted. "This camera is cutting edge", I said to myself. I was pondering how much movie was 2GB worth when my beautiful bride returned with the booty. Ah!!!!!! The smell and feel of miniature technology. I frantically ripped open the disk package and inserted the card into the camera. I turned it on, pushed the button to immediately start my virtual career as a movie director, and........... nothing. I tried the picture click option and took a wonderful picture of some bowl game or other on the tube and started re-reading the instructions. "Push the little memory/video button to the correct location and push "start/stop button". I did that! Oh wait.... the "video" button, of course! (I wonder what the memory side is for) Oh well. Try it again. "TAPE!" appears on the little LCD screen. No! I don't want to use the tape! I want to be cutting edge and use the memory card for my movies! Try everything again. Nothing. The word "TAPE!" seems to be mocking me. I re-read the instructions. I look through the various settings. I try switching the filming ratio back and forth. Still nothing. I call my step son Brent hoping that he can shed some light on the situation. No. He has one of the older models and he just pushes "Start". I hope it's not already broken. It would be my luck to get a new camera only to find it damaged right out of the box. Well, tonight I'll take it to Best Buy and show them that it's not working correctly.

(Later that evening)

We stroll into Best Buy, camera in hand, and wait for the resident camera afficianado who was so capabley pointed out to us by an obviously new employee. After a short wait while he helped another, less technologically skilled patron than I, he walked over to us and asked how he may be of service. I explained to him my dilemma and handed him the camera. I also explained that the camera was obviuosly malfunctioning as it came out of the box. He turned it on, pushed the start button and started shaking his head. I commented how "no matter how many times you push it to start, that the "TAPE!" word keeps showing up on the screen." He opened the tape compartment and said, "Sir, there's no tape in this camera". "Of course there isn't", I said. And then I went on to explain that I was opting to use the more technologically advanced "memory card" option. He just stared at me. I repeated my mission statement and was acknowledged with the same blank stare. After an eternity of trying to figure out what this guys language problem was, because he obviously didn't understand plain english, he finally spoke. "Sir the memory card is for pictures only. You still have to put a tape in it". I was in some kind of weird Alfred Hitchcockish movie. Surreal laughter and mocking flashes of "TAPE!", "TAPE!", "TAPE!" ran around and through my thoughts as the reality of my vanquished pride settled in for a long, humiliating stay. Defeated by my own arrogance and futuristic visions of Captain Kirk as he inserted a little blue, red, or yellow rectangular box into his official StarLog recording unit. The future was not now. Not yet. As I walked away from Best Buy with my new purchase of six, 60 minute miniature movie tapes in hand, I pondered a future where, during the transition from physical movement to thought transfer, I would be ready and willing to embrace a "NEW and IMPROVED" cutting edge technology, where you could simply insert a disk and film away. My NEXT camera is going to be AWESOME!!!